Local Blonde

A young blonde woman in Omaha Nebraska was so
pressed that she decided to end her life by throwing herself into
the Missouri River. She went down to the docks and was about to leap
into the frigid water when a handsome young sailor saw her tottering
on the edge of the dock, crying. I'm off to Europe in the morning,
and if you like, I can stow you away on my ship. I'll take good care
of you and bring you food every day." Moving closer, he slipped his
arm round her shoulder and added, "I'll keep you happy, and you'll
keep me happy." The girl nodded yes. After all, what did she have to
lose? Perhaps a fresh start in Europe would give her life new
meaning. That night, the sailor brought her aboard and hid her in a
lifeboat. From then on, every night he brought her three sandwiches
and a piece of fruit, and they made
passionate love until dawn. Three weeks later, during a routine
inspection, she was discovered by the captain. "What are you doing
here?" the captain asked. I have an arrangement with one of the sailors,"
she explained. "I get food and a trip to Europe and he's screwing
me." "He certainly is," the captain said. "This is the Ameristar and
we never leave Council Bluffs, Iowa."