A man walks into a sperm bank and declares, "I'm of royal blood and have an IQ of 165, and I'd like to make a donation." The nurse gives him a sealed cup and directs him to a private room. Twenty minutes pass and the man still doesn't come out, so the nurse knocks on the door. "Is there a problem?" she asks. "I'm so embarrassed, I used my right hand. I used my left hand. I poured cold water on it and hot water on it. Could you help me?" The nurse replies, "I don't usually do this, but you are kind of cute..." She gets on her knees and begins to pleasure him. "I really appreciate this, but I just needed help getting the cap off the jar!"
Submitted by Stephanie Tibbets
Joke # 2
As he grows up
When I was 14, I hoped that one day I would have a girlfriend.
When I was 16 I got a girlfriend, but there was no passion, so I
decided I needed a passionate girl with a zest for life.
In college I dated a passionate girl, but she was too emotional.
Everything was an emergency; she was a drama queen, cried all the time
and threatened suicide. So I decided I needed a girl with stability.
When I was 25 I found a very stable girl but she was boring. She was
totally predictable and never got excited about anything. Life became
so dull that I decided that I needed a girl with some excitement.
When I was 28 I found an exciting girl, but I couldn't keep up with
her. She rushed from one thing to another, never settling on anything.
She did mad impetuous things and made me miserable as often as happy.
She was great fun initially and very energetic, but directionless. So
I decided to find a girl with some real ambition.
When I turned 31, I found a smart ambitious girl with her feet planted
firmly on the ground and married her. She was so ambitious that she
divorced me and took everything I owned.
I am now older and wiser, and am looking for a girl with big tits.
Submitted by Brian Rademacher
