Walking through the woods a man comes up to another man hugging a tree with his ear firmly against the tree.
Seeing this he inquires, "Just out of curiosity, what the hell are you doing?"
"I'm listening to the music of the tree."
"You gotta be kiddin' me."
"No ,would you like to give it a try?"
"Well, OK..."
So he wraps his arms around the tree and presses his ear up against the tree. With this the other guy slaps a set of hand cuffs on him, takes his wallet, jewelry, car keys, then strips him ass naked and leaves.

Two hours later another nature lover strolls by, sees this guy handcuffed to the tree, stark ass naked, and asked,
"What the hell happened to you?"
He tells the guy the whole story about how he got there. While he was telling his story, the other guy shakes his head in sympathy, walks around behind him, kisses him behind the ear and says... "Ya know sweetheart, this just ain't your day."

Submitted by Natalie Young

Joke #2

One day about a month ago, Bill Clinton was looking for a call girl. He found three such ladies in a local lounge---a blonde , a brunette , and a redhead. To the blonde he said , "I am the president of the united states. How much would it cost me to spend some time with you?" The blonde replied, "Two hundred dollars." To the brunette he posed the same question , and she replied, "One hundred dollars. "He then asked the redhead the same question. The redhead replied, "Mr. President , if you can raise my skirt as high as my taxes.... Get my panties as low as my wages...get that thing of yours as hard as the times... Keep it high as the gas prices...keep me warmer than my apartment...and...screw me in private the way you do in public, then believe me Mr. President , it ain't gonna cost you a cent."

Submitted by Amanda Asch

Joke # 3

ALL women can benefit from the wisdom of the Navajo.

A woman is driving toward home in Northern Arizona when she sees a Navajo
woman hitchhiking. Because the trip had been long and
quiet, she stops the car and the Navajo woman climbs in.

During their small talk, the Navajo woman glances surreptitiously at a
brown bag on the front seat between them.

"If you're wondering what's in the bag," offers the driver, "it's a bottle
of wine. I got it for my husband." The Navajo woman is
silent for a while, nods several times and says,

"Good trade."

Submitted by Jim Hahn